A Crazy Misfortune: OrangePlumbob’s 2nd Assignment for “Your Life Story”

“What the hell?” I asked Cait.

“I’m on to you.” She answered and walked out.

Uh, say what? What did she mean she was on to me? What the hell did I do?

The next morning I went out to the park with my laptop – the only thing I had brought with me from my old life.

I opened it and started to write a new novel: The Midnight Heist. I wrote it in first person.

For the next three weeks all I do is write. I love writing. It’s my passion. Some days I could, if no one is around, write for hours and hours on end without stopping.

In three weeks I wrote a little over 300 pages. The novel was nearly complete.

During those weeks I hardly left my room. I hardly paid much attention to my crazy – yes, crazy – roommate.

From what I dug up on the Internet, she has issues.

Some days and even nights I can hear her talking to – no one. She talks to herself. Some days she addresses a man by the name of Perrin. Other times she talks to a man named Cranberry.

After three weeks I decided that I needed a bit of fresh air as well as some distance from my crazy roommate.

So I head to the park with a huge plate of salad in my picnic basket.

Skip came walking over towards me. “Hey care for a salad?” I asked.

“A SALAD! OMG finally no meat!”

She sat down and proceeded to tell me that she was a vegetarian. I immediately apologized that I gave her a hamburger a few weeks back.

“It’s okay. I take what I can get. I just tend to hate meat.”

“Why’s that?” I asked. She went quiet for a bit. “Skip?”

“A few years ago, when I was just a teenager I lived on a farm. My dad owned a slaughter house. My dad is the reason why I’m on the streets.You see, I hated the farm. I hated the smells and everything. I also hated my dad. Since my mother left him, he tried to. . . use me.”

I put my food down. “Oh my God! How awful.”

“He’s the reason I don’t eat meat. Every time I smell meat it reminds me of those nights. So I left him and I’ve been on my own since. Backpacking through the cities. Conning people into giving me food and money. I’ve been here too long though. Everyone knows me and my tricks. But I can’t leave. I love it here.”

After the picnic I returned home. I felt horrible about Skip. Her life was in a worse state than I could ever imagine.

I walked up and found Cait on my computer. I was not too pleased that she was snooping around.

“WHAT THE SEWERS AND CROWS ARE YOU DOING!?!” I yelled at her.

“Sorry. Calm down. I needed to borrow your laptop. I had to check put if my boyfriend Stormy was coming to town.”

“You have a boyfriend?” This was a bit of news to me. Since when did she have a boyfriend?

“Yes. His name is Stormy Rain and he’s all mine!”

Okay, either (a) she really did have a boyfriend and was a bit over zealous of him. Or (b) she was off her rocker. I’m thinking the latter. Seriously who ever heard of a guy named Stormy – well besides on Reba, but we all know Barbra Jean was crazy.

It wasn’t till after that confrontation did I start hearing rumors – about me no less.
Somehow my work in progress got out and instead of it being read as a novel it was read as a confession. People around town gave me looks. Everyone thought I was a bank robber.
I laughed at the thought. But it was a serious matter.

I started to feel very unsafe. I don’t know what it was. But there was always this presence looming. I didn’t know what it was. But it was like someone was following me.

I felt unsafe, real unsafe. Not just at home with my crazy roommate, but now I had someone outside stalking me.

So I decided to start hanging out with Emma and Sammie. We did a lot of stuff together.

They were the only ones that believed me about the truth that my newest manuscript was leaked.

“I think it might have been Cait. I caught her snooping on my computer.”

Both girls looked at each other.

“It’s funny.” I told them. “She says she was looking to see if her boyfriend Stormy Rain was coming to town.”

Sammie and Emma laughed. Emma laughed so hard she was in tears. “And let me guess, she has a true love affair with a guy named Perrin at night? Oh and her best gay friend is named Cranberry/Blackberry.”

“Cranberry.” I muttered. Now getting the picture. “So, she’s just pulling my leg?”

“No. She’s certifiably insane.” Emma answered. “Thats why I left. No one has been able to stay with her more than a few months.”

“She actually believes that she has these friends?” I asked.

“Oh yeah. And don’t talk about any of them. She’ll think your sleeping with them. That’s what she thought when I decided to play along with her fantasy. She thought I slept with all three of them.”

I laughed. “Yeah she mentioned that.”

So, I decided to stay away from Cait as much as possible. I still tried to converse and be friendly with her, but I was cautious. Really cautious.

I visited Emma and Sammie a lot more often and joked about the latest gossip about my crime syndicate I was supposedly running.

After leaving the bar one night I was grabbed. I was brought back to this warehouse by this man. He looked at me. “The boss is expecting you.” He told me. He had a gun.

I followed the man down to a hidden room. He sat me down. The boss, who seriously looked demented, just stared. I was quivering I was so scared, I’ve never been as scared till this moment in my life.  “I’ve been hearing rumors, Ms. . .”

“Plumbob.” I told him. “And the rumors are false. I’m not a master criminal. I’m a writer.”

“Yeah sure.” He and the other guy laughed at me. They really didn’t believe me, and why should they? “Listen, you’re gonna tell me where the money is. You’re gonna help me get it. And then you are gonna go away – far away.”

“It’s uh. . . um. . . It’s in Bridgeport.” I blurted out. “Landgraab’s First National Bank. Highly secured in a vault.”

The two men looked at each other and grinned. It was eerie. They nodded and the next thing I know I was waking up on the harden cement.

I ran hard. I ran so hard. I headed to the only place I could think of, Sammie’s and Emma’s. I banged on the door. I had no clue as to what time it was. I just needed help. I was scared and I felt shaken up.

Sammie opened the door. “What in the world Orange, it’s three in the morning.”

“I’m sorry. I need help. Some guy. . .Someone. . .” Then I broke down in tears. “Oh Sammie.”

She held me there and patted my back. I was more than shaken up. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. So Sammie made a bed up for me and I slept.

In the morning I woke to the smell of coffee. Sammie brought me a cup and we drank together. I told her about the night before. I told her what I had said. “I think they’re gonna go to Bridgeport Sam.”

“So, what are you going to do?” She asked a reasonable question. Truth was, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

“I don’t know. I can’t shake this feeling as I’m being watched though. What if they find out that I’m not who they think I am? I’m just a writer, I write stories and I get published. I don’t commit crimes – unless of course its downloading music, but that’s it.”

“Stay here tonight. I’ll see what my R.J. can come up with.”

“R.J.?”

“She’s a detective at the police station. She and her husband both are.”

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. R.J. looks so. . .”

“Cooky? She is. Not like Cait though. Styx is way off her rocker, but R.J. can be a blast. She’s a total blonde, says the funniest things. I love her to death, she’s my best friend.”

“She sounds way cool. I didn’t really get to talk to her much when I met her. I wish I had spent more time with all of you. That and I wish I remember half that night. Was I really table dancing or is Cait just saying that because well she’s Cait?”

“No you were table dancing. We were all surprised you didn’t go home with one of the guys there.” Sammie giggled.

Sammie made a few calls and R.J came over with her husband. He was a looker, that’s for sure. R.J. sat down and I told her everything that had happened the night before. When she asked me for a description of the men, I couldn’t for the life of me remember them. I tried to. I just couldn’t. “I’m sorry R.J. I just really don’t know what he looks like.”

“It’s okay. I’ll swing by in a few days with some books and you can go through them and maybe pick one or two of them out.”

“Yeah, I hope so.”

I went home that night with Sammie by my side. She hugged me outside. “Thanks for helping me.”

“No problem. I hope it all works for the best though.”

“Yea me too. I’ll call you soon and we’ll go hang out again.”

“Definitely!”

I walked into the house and was stunned to see Cait – with a guy in the house. He was. . . he was hot. “Uh hello.” I said just shocked at this revelation. “And you are?”

“Name’s Stormy, Stormy Rain.” He smiled his million dollar smile and I thought to myself, how the hell did she get – THAT! Ugh all the girls get all the luck sometimes. Not even Ryan was that gorgeous!